


Look Back With a Lighter Soul

by paperstorm



Series: In Coastal Towns Like These [2]
Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottom Chris Evans, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Evanstan - Freeform, M/M, POV Sebastian Stan, Professor AU, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24042991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperstorm/pseuds/paperstorm
Summary: Sebastian inhales slowly and smiles to himself. He’s been picking up on things. Small things, that on their own might mean nothing at all but added up together, just might mean something. Something pretty important.
Relationships: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: In Coastal Towns Like These [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734271
Comments: 48
Kudos: 152





	Look Back With a Lighter Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tpwkara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tpwkara/gifts).



> This is a tag for [Where The Interstate Ends ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16248698/chapters/37988810). It won’t make sense without having first read that. (But please do if you haven't!)
> 
> I have been promising to write this for a long ass time and I finally got around to it. This will not be the last one in the series, I have more moments in these boys lives in my drafts!
> 
> Title is from the song Harbinger by Anberlin.

Sebastian wakes up with Chris behind him, bodies slotted together like spoons, Chris’s breath warm and moist on his neck, his arm heavy where it’s draped over Sebastian’s ribs. There’s still room in their massive bed for Dodger to be curled up next to Chris’s feet and Riot next to Sebastian’s, neither of them taking up any needed space. There is simplicity in its domestic nature, something five years ago Sebastian would have sworn up and down between one-night-stands that he didn’t want, but now realizes how thoroughly he was lying to himself all that time. He was just waiting for Chris; the man who was on the other side of the country, being mistreated by people who didn’t value him for all the things that make him wonderful. Neither of them knew Chris was on his way here, but he was, and Sebastian gets choked up sometimes thinking about it like that, as if they’re star-crossed lovers who might just get the happily ever after that Romeo and Juliet never did, so he pushes the thought away in favor of turning over and cuddling up to Chris’s chest.  
  
Chris smiles as he kisses Sebastian’s forehead, and Dodger comes up to wedge his way between them, looking for morning snuggles. They oblige happily.  
  
Chris makes breakfast, toast with avocado and scrambled eggs and hot sauce, one of Sebastian’s favorites. They chat easily about absolutely nothing important, in the sunny space of their new kitchen. It’s big and roomy, wide windows and new appliances and a stainless-steel espresso machine – yet another thing Sebastian didn’t know he needed all his life but now is positive he’ll never be able to live without one again. Chris’s hair is messy and pillow lines remain on his cheek, ocean-colored eyes sparkling in the daylight as he keeps smiling at Sebastian, as Sebastian tells him about the disasters that keep befalling his parents’ renovation of their Manhattan apartment.  
  
“Your mom told me about the cabinets,” Chris says, sipping his coffee and wincing sympathetically. “It’s really gonna take six weeks for the right hardware to come in? _Why_? Is it being shipped here from the moon?”  
  
Sebastian is about to answer that he doesn’t know, and then falters, and frowns. “Wait, when did you talk to my mom?”  
  
“Oh. Um.” Chris’s face does something funny, almost like the real answer is trying to escape his lips just for a moment before he manages to school his features back into a neutral, casual expression. “A few days ago. She called here looking for you but you were out for a run. I forgot to tell you that, sorry.”  
  
He leans over and pecks Sebastian’s cheek in apology as he gets up to get more coffee.  
  
Sebastian frowns further, and watches Chris’s back as he walks away. Suspicion turns in his head. They did get a landline hooked up, just in case of emergencies since they don’t live right in town anymore, but they never use it, especially because both sets of parents are favorites on their cellphone plans in order to avoid long-distance charges. But then Chris turns to him, and grins cheerily, and changes the subject, and Sebastian lets him.  
  
“I gotta walk Dodger, comin’ with?”  
  
“Yeah, sure. Let me just get changed.”  
  
There is a forest behind their new house. Not just a small patch of trees, an actual forest. It stretches for acres, far beyond where their property ends. It’s full of woodchip-lined walking trails, massive trees and tons of birds, some of the most beautiful, peaceful spots Sebastian thinks he’s ever been. Their house is on an old country road, and there’s a few other houses on it but they’re mostly owned by older couples who have lived here for decades and don’t make use of the trails as much as they used to, so really, it’s like Chris and Sebastian have an entire forest to themselves.  
  
Growing up in Bucharest and then Manhattan, he’s not really used to living in such close proximity to nature. Chris is a lot more used to it, and Sebastian has discovered since meeting Chris that he really likes hiking. It’s meditative, just putting one foot in front of the other, listening to nothing but soft breezes and birds chirping, ending up in some pretty spot where he can let Chris pull him into a sweaty hug and murmur something cheesy about how it’s not as beautiful as Sebastian is. Now, they have a whole network of hiking trails right in their own backyard. Their own secret world to explore.  
  
Chris is waiting for him on the patio, in shorts and a tight ribbed tank, his freckled shoulders already pink in the August sun.  
  
“Did you put sunblock on?” Sebastian asks, and Chris playfully rolls his eyes.  
  
“Yes, dear.”  
  
“Excuse me for not wanting you to get a sunburn.”  
  
Chris holds his free hand out. Sebastian takes it, lets Chris pull him into a kiss. “Thank you,” Chris says into his lips, “for not wanting me to get a sunburn.”  
  
“Any time,” Sebastian answers.  
  
They walk together, with Dodger tugging gently at the leash and urging them to speed up. Chris keeps him at a leisurely pace, strolling with his fingers still threaded through Sebastian’s as dappled sunlight falls over them. When they reach a clearing near a pond, a spot they’d discovered a few days ago when they’d gone for a walk to take a break from the endless monotony of unpacking, Chris lets go of the leash and lets Dodger roam around on his own. He won’t go far, and always comes when he’s called. He lets go of Sebastian’s hand, too, in favor of sliding an arm around his back and pulling him in close.  
  
“It’s nice here, don’t you think?”  
  
Sebastian nods, wrapping both arms around Chris’s waist and resting his chin on Chris’s shoulder. “It is.”  
  
“Yeah. A good spot,” Chris says, nodding as well, sounding contemplative and serious.  
  
“For what?”  
  
“Nothing. Or … anything. I don’t know. It’s just good.”  
  
Sebastian inhales slowly and smiles to himself. He’s been picking up on things. Small things, that on their own might mean nothing at all but added up together, just might mean something. Something pretty important. “Yes,” he agrees again. “It’s good.”  
  
* * *  
  
Sebastian grills salmon steaks on the barbeque outside on their spacious back deck, while Chris sorts through yet another box of miscellaneous kitchen utensils. He calls through the open door, “we have, like, 15 spatulas between us,” and Sebastian snorts.  
  
“Should we quit our jobs and open a bakery?”  
  
“I can think of worse things to look at all day long than you covered in flour,” Chris says, coming to the door and winking at Sebastian through the screen.  
  
“I’m not sure there’s much money in it.”  
  
“Mm,” Chris muses. He slides the door open and steps through it, Dodger racing past him out into the fresh air. Chris walks up behind Sebastian at the grill, wrapping arms around his waist. “Well we can’t have that. Gotta keep my posh boyfriend in the lifestyle he’s used to.”  
  
Sebastian snickers, and reaches around to poke Chris in the ribs. “I love our new home, but I’d live in a studio apartment with leaky plumbing if you were there with me,” he says, and it’s a joke, but also, it isn’t. In reality, it isn’t a joke at all.  
  
“Me too.” Chris kisses the side of Sebastian’s face, and he means it, too. “These almost done?”  
  
“Almost.” Sebastian flips one of the filets over and presses down on it, the sizzle of meat searing growing louder for a moment until he lets up.  
  
Chris’s lips move along his jaw, through the stubble he hasn’t shaved for a good couple days, until he gets to Sebastian’s ear. He traces his tongue along the shell of it. “Good,” he rumbles. “I’m hungry.”  
  
“For salmon, or for me?”  
  
A low, enticing chuckle, and Chris’s hand slips just briefly into Sebastian’s basketball shorts, fingertips pressing into his abdomen, just shy of where the hair starts but backing off too quickly to be anything short of a tease. “Both,” he whispers, teeth scraping along Sebastian’s earlobe just for a moment before his heat is gone and Sebastian is left shivering. Chris shouldn’t theoretically be able to affect him that easily, nearly a year later. But he can. Sebastian hopes that never changes.  
  
* * *  
  
It’s never exactly the same from time to time, when they fall into their bed together. There are nights where it’s light, playful, where they giggle the entire time and hold each other close, wandering hands and crinkled eyes. There are quickies in the shower where it’s more perfunctory, a necessary task almost along the lines of brushing their teeth, but no less loving, because they’re giving each other something they need. There are times where it’s darker and much more serious, where the only words spoken are grunted curses followed by bitten moans, where Chris loses himself in passion and Sebastian is left thoroughly ruined and feeling it all the next day. Chris always apologizes sheepishly in the mornings after those nights, and Sebastian always tells him not to. They both love it too much to be sorry for it, even if bruises linger.  
  
This is one of those nights where it’s slower, maybe gentler, but it lasts forever. Where they kiss until their lips are numb, where they rock slowly into each other so it builds at a glacial pace, where Chris’s emotions get the better of him and he can’t seem to keep quiet, can’t seem to stop telling Sebastian how perfect he is, how good he feels, how much Chris loves him. The onslaught of praise makes Sebastian’s head spin, wraps him up in a blanket of warmth, makes him feel cherished and desired and adored. It fills him with an overwhelming urge to spend the rest of his life protecting this Chris – this man who feels so deeply and loves so loudly, who is so bravely willing to be vulnerable, to put his sensitive, golden heart out on display for anyone to stomp on. Sebastian will always keep it safe, he vows that to himself every time Chris gets like this.  
  
“I love you so much,” Chris whispers to him, a waver in his voice, as Sebastian bottoms out inside him and then lies heavily on his chest, in no rush to move, just wanting to lie here with Chris and absorb the feeling of being as close as they can, connected in the most intimate way.  
  
“Love you to the end of the universe and back,” Sebastian promises him, laying a kiss to Chris’s neck. “For as long as you let me.”  
  
“How about forever?”  
  
Sebastian knew that was coming, and he noses through Chris’s beard. “Sounds good to me.”  
  
* * *  
  
“Red or white?” Hayley asks, raising her voice slightly to be heard from across the room, over the music. They’re at her house, for dinner, and it’s been longer than usual the four of them have been apart, this time. Between Chris and Sebastian’s trip to Romania, and then their whirlwind move, it’s been almost a month since they’ve spent an evening together. Sebastian does like having Chris all to himself, but he also missed their friends. Hayley’s hair is shorter, than it was in July, cropped to a stylish shoulder-length bob that she has styled in sleek waves. She looks like a 1940s movie star.  
  
“White, if it’s chilled,” Sebastian answers, snorting when she makes an exaggerated pompous face at him.  
  
“Of course it’s chilled, your majesty.”  
  
Sebastian shakes his head at her, and keeps smiling. He’s not going to point out that she’s the one who drinks imported tea from fine china and gets fussy about proper stemware etiquette. She’d only come back with asking what state they would all descend into without her, and given that she doesn’t even ask either of their American partners about wine because they’re both already drinking beer right from the bottle, she may have a point about that. Anthony is currently bent over the back of the couch, ass in the air, fishing in the space between it and the wall for the bottle cap Chris flicked at his head.  
  
Hayley hands him a glass, and clinks hers gently against it before she sips at the dark merlot, her copper-colored lipstick leaving a print on the rim. “Ready for the start of term?” she asks, looking at Sebastian but speaking generally to all three of them as she takes a seat in her living room.  
  
“More or less,” Sebastian answers. He eyes Chris’s thighs in his tight jeans, just for a moment considering being _that_ person; settling himself in Chris’s inviting lap instead of a chair and subjecting their friends to PDA. It wouldn’t be the first time. Still, this time he doesn’t. He does lean over and kiss Chris on the temple, though, before stepping around his knees and sitting next to him on the burgundy loveseat.  
  
“Found it!” Anthony cries triumphantly, raising his arm and holding the Budweiser twist-off cap like it’s a trophy.  
  
“Well done, darling.” Hayley sips at her drink again, and then when Anthony holds the cap between his thumb and forefinger and smirks in Chris’s direction, she holds up a hand and says, “don’t you dare. This is supposed to be a nice evening, I won’t have it ending with you two meatheads wrestling on the front lawn.”  
  
“That sounds _sexy_ ,” Anthony says, with relish and a devilish, gap-toothed grin. “Seabass could douse us in olive oil.”  
  
“God,” Sebastian groans, while Chris cracks up beside him. He tips sideways into Sebastian as he snickers.  
  
“I would divorce you,” Hayley tells him, and she’s smiling, but there’s a sharp enough edge to her gaze to communicate that she just _might_ be serious, so better not to test her.  
  
“I call Evans, in the settlement,” Anthony says, flopping down onto the couch and playfully poking at Hayley’s calf with his toe.  
  
She shakes her head again, and calls him an idiot, still smiling.  
  
“Neither of you get Evans in the settlement.” Sebastian reaches out and puts an arm around him possessively. “He’s mine.”  
  
“Aw, honey,” Chris sighs, playing it up and snuggling into him.  
  
“ _I_ am ready for the start of term, in case anybody was wondering.” Anthony sits up straight and looks around excitedly. “Home opener in nine days!”  
  
“You’ve been in training all summer. It isn’t quite the same,” Chris points out. He doesn’t move, from his spot against Sebastian’s chest, now that he’s leant over into him. Sebastian notices Hayley watching them, and shares a pleased expression with her when their eyes meet. No one on the planet, Sebastian knows absolutely for sure, is happier for him than she is. No one knows as well as she does everything he fought through to get here, to this place where he’s comfortably cuddling his boyfriend in front of them, having just purchased a home together and making plans for the future.  
  
“Does that mean you won’t be my date?” Anthony asks, with a fake pout.  
  
“To what?”  
  
Another coy grin. “To the NFL awards in February.”  
  
Chris perks up. “Wait, really?”  
  
Anthony nods. “Really. I got invited for stupid PR reasons, definitely, but what the hell, I’ll take the perks where I can get them. I’ve got two tickets and one has your name on it, if you want it.”  
  
Sitting up all the way, Chris’s eyes are as wide as saucers. “Are you serious?”  
  
“Yes, I’m serious. So? How ‘bout it, you wanna come with me? My lovely wife has graciously agreed to step aside and let your hot ass be my arm candy for the evening instead of hers.”  
  
“Holy shit,” Chris says loudly. “Yeah, of course I wanna go with you!”  
  
“Figured you might. It’s in Vegas this year, we could all go for the weekend.”  
  
Sebastian nods. He’s never been to Las Vegas. It’s such an iconic piece of modern American folklore that he’s always thought he should go, at least once, if only to study it with Hayley from the perspective of a cultural anthropologist. “That’d be fun.”  
  
Chris still looks utterly dumbfounded. His mouth moves like he’s trying to speak, but no sound escapes. Sebastian’s not sure he’s ever seen Chris speechless before, and suppresses a giggle.  
  
He reaches out and squeezes around the back of Chris’s neck. “He might be too much in shock to thank you properly for a good while.”  
  
“I don’t need thanks.” Anthony waves his hand, as Chris turns his slack-jawed expression towards Sebastian.  
  
“Seb.”  
  
“I know, babe. I’m excited for you.” Sebastian continues trying very hard not to laugh at him. He still doesn’t care about football, as much as he’s tried to for Chris. He kisses Chris on the cheek instead.  
  
“Come with me, I’ll show you the invite,” Anthony says, and Chris nods wordlessly and gets up to follow him out of the room.  
  
“When will we be asked over to your place?” Hayley asks, changing the subject once they’re alone. “I want to see it!”  
  
“Soon,” Sebastian promises. “We’ve only been there a week, we still don’t have everything unpacked. As soon as it’s not a disaster anymore, we’ll have you for dinner.”  
  
“But you’re liking it so far?”  
  
He nods. It had all happened so quickly, and so smoothly. Chris found a buyer for his house a lot faster than he was expecting, and the couple they bought the refurbished farmhouse from ended up needing to move to Chicago earlier than they thought, so their possession date got moved up six weeks. It was a whirlwind, returning from their trip to Romania and immediately beginning to pack up their two separate residences, but it worked out almost seamlessly. Sebastian is in love with their new home. He’s in love with the wood floors and the high ceilings, with the fireplaces, with the beautiful view of trees outside their bedroom window, with the foyer where they’re going to put a grand piano, with the room they can use as a library, with the sprawling finished basement where Chris can set up the biggest TV he can find and room for the most elaborate cat tower the local pet store sold. It’s everything they were looking for and then some.  
  
“It’s perfect, Hales. It really is.”  
  
“The pictures you sent were so pretty. I’m so jealous of the kitchen.”  
  
“There’s a few other houses on the road. Next time I see a for sale sign, I’ll let you know. Maybe our …” he hesitates, but she tilts her head at him curiously so he says it anyway, even though it feels risky. They’ve never really talked about this. “If we ever had families. Kids. Maybe they could grow up together, playing in the trees out back.”  
  
She presses her lips together, and he’s about to apologize for bringing up what might still be a painful subject, even so many years later, but then she quietly says, “we’re trying.”  
  
He blinks. “You and – for a baby?”  
  
Hayley nods her head, fighting back a grin. “You can’t tell him I told you. We said we wouldn’t. Didn’t want to jinx it.”  
  
“God, of course I won’t, but … Hales.” His heart swells, warmth spreading to his extremities. “I’m so happy for you.”  
  
“Me too. You can’t always plan everything out perfectly, you know?” She swirls her glass, moving the wine around in it and watching it for a moment, before she looks up to him again with her dark eyes shining. “Sometimes you just have to … hope. And try again.”  
  
He swallows around a lump in his throat. She knows he understands, better than anyone else she knows. He stands, and goes over to pull her into a tight hug. “Andrew would have been an amazing uncle,” he says, unable to avoid the twinge of sadness, mixed in with all the joy.  
  
“He would have,” she agrees. She pulls back enough to look at him, to brush his hair lovingly off his forehead. “And so will you. And Chris.”  
  
“I think he’s going to ask me to marry him,” Sebastian confesses.  
  
Her eyebrows shoot up toward her hairline. “Did he say something?”  
  
“Not in so many words. Just … I don’t know. Just a feeling I have.”  
  
“You want to marry him?”  
  
Sebastian exhales and nods. “More than anything.”  
  
Another big smile overtakes her pretty face, and she hugs him again, tucking herself up against his chest. “I’m happy for us. All of us.”  
  
“Me too.”  
  
* * *  
  
Sebastian stirs, and stretches. He opens his eyes just a little, just enough to squint in the early morning sunlight streaming in, the trees outside blocking some of it and casting shadows over the room. In his old apartment, Sebastian always slept with the shades drawn, to keep the glare from streetlamps out. He never realized how much he would love sleeping with the blinds open, so he can wake up to the sunrise and to the sight of blue sky and lush green leaves through the wide window. It hasn’t rained, yet, since they’ve been here, but Sebastian is cautiously optimistic about that, too. He thinks maybe he could learn to like the rain, if he were here with Chris, cuddled up together with a fire roaring, watching the rain through the windows.  
  
He pushes his face into the soft cotton pillowcase, inhaling deeply, the fresh scent of fabric softener filling his lungs. He lingers in that not-quite-asleep place for a moment, before he feels movement beside him. He turns his head and cracks one eye back open, in time to see Chris roll over and drape himself, warm and heavy, over Sebastian.  
  
He chuckles quietly, and wraps his arms around Chris, as heated skin is pressed into his own. “Morning.”  
  
“Good morning,” Chris answers, voice low and scratchy. He nuzzles into Sebastian, beard soft against the skin of Sebastian’s neck.  
  
His hair smells like sleep and coconut shampoo, and Sebastian breathes him in, fingers trailing down Chris’s bare spine. Chris stretches a little and shifts, and his crotch rubs against Sebastian’s hip, half-hard between his legs. Sebastian smiles into Chris’s hair. He continues the slide of his hand, palm moving over the small of Chris’s back and lower, to cup his ass through his underwear. He squeezes the muscle and pushes down, urging Chris to roll his hips, to rub himself into Sebastian, like he knows Chris loves. Chris is so tactile, so needy for to touch and be touched, to feel a warm body beneath him, to be smothered and wrapped up in sensation. Sebastian adores that about him.  
  
Chris hums, the sound vibrating through Sebastian, and rocks his hips sleepily in small forward circles.  
  
“Feel good?” Sebastian squeezes his handful again, pushing his palm down so Chris knows it’s okay to keep going.  
  
“Mhm. You always feel good.”  
  
They work each other up slowly in their bed and finish in the shower, rubbing soap into each other’s bodies and laughing when Chris bangs his elbow against the door. They’d been pleased when they visited this place for a showing and noticed how big the shower in the master bedroom was, thinking they might finally have one that would fit their large bodies in it together, and even still it’s not big enough for the two of them.  
  
* * *  
  
By the time a later afternoon glow has overtaken the main floor of their house, Sebastian thinks they’re finally _almost_ finished unpacking. They’ll leave a stack of boxes in the basement for the time being, until they can acquire a bit more furniture to fill up a few still-empty rooms, but they have everything they need on a day-to-day basis put away, and it’s all tidied enough to invite their friends over. Tomorrow, Sebastian thinks. The last night of their summer before the first day of the Fall semester. It’s been the best summer of Sebastian’s life. So many important things have happened, so many difficult but vital steps forward, and his stomach swoops when Chris asks him to go for a walk out back, because one more step is coming. He’s almost positive about it.  
  
They make their way back to the clearing by the pond, where they’d stood two days ago, only this time the sun is beginning to set, bathing them in warm orange light, with pink clouds forming over their heads. They can’t see the horizon from here, too many trees in the way, but the bits of sky they can see are swirled in colors like a painting. Chris gathers Sebastian wordlessly into a hug while Dodger squats down to drink from the pond. Sebastian wraps his arms around Chris’s neck, holding on tightly as Chris buries his face into Sebastian’s shoulder and kisses it through the cotton of his t-shirt.  
  
“I love you,” Chris whispers to him.  
  
“I know,” Sebastian whispers back, butterflies dancing in his gut. “Me too.”  
  
“You know, don’t you? What I’m about to ask.”  
  
The fluttering increases, and Sebastian blinks tears out of his eyes. He slides his fingers into Chris’s hair, petting him slowly. “I’m pretty sure, yeah.”  
  
“What gave me away?”  
  
“When have you ever been able to hide from me?”  
  
“I guess that’s true.” Chris pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against Sebastian’s, cupping his cheek and sliding his thumb underneath Sebastian’s eye. “Are you gonna say yes?”  
  
Sebastian nods, as a lump forms in his throat. “Of course I am.”  
  
“Good.” Chris kisses him, slow and lingering, and then lowers himself slowly down to one knee. His eyes are already full of tears when he looks up at Sebastian, and Sebastian’s heart pounds in his chest.  
  
“You don’t have to do that,” Sebastian says, and Chris takes his hand.  
  
“Yes, I do. Gotta make it proper, official.” Chris smiles, such volumes of emotion in his open expression it takes Sebastian’s breath away.  
  
“You called my mom to ask for permission, didn’t you?”  
  
“Not permission,” Chris corrects. “Just to tell her I was gonna ask. Make sure she knows I’m going to take care of you, for the rest of my life, if you’ll have me.”  
  
Sebastian nods.  
  
“I don’t have a ring,” Chris continues, wincing a little, “because I didn’t think guys wore engagement rings. I wasn’t sure and I didn’t wanna make it weird. But I don’t think that’s, like, a rule. If you want one, I can …”  
  
Sebastian shakes his head. “We can go together, to look for wedding bands. I like that better anyway.”  
  
“Okay.” Chris nods, and takes a deep breath that lifts his shoulders. “Okay, I … Sebastian, when we met, I was … running. I knew what I was running from, but I didn’t have a clear grasp on what I was running _to_. I was just escaping, going from one ocean to another, and hoping things might be different once I did. I had no idea what I’d find once I got here. I couldn’t, in my absolute wildest dreams, have predicted I’d find you.”  
  
Sebastian’s throat tightens, and he blinks against the renewed sting of tears. He wraps his other hand around Chris’s too, threading their fingers together and squeezing. “Me neither.”  
  
“I didn’t …” Chris trails off, a muscle working in his jaw as he clenches it, and a few tears spilling over the rims of his eyes and down his cheeks.  
  
“Just ask me,” Sebastian says, with an overwhelmed, watery laugh.  
  
“I practiced this, dammit,” Chris says, laughing too even through his tears. “There was a bunch of stuff I wanted to tell you.”  
  
Sebastian drops down, landing on his knees in the grass. He reaches out for Chris’s face, holding it in his hands, wiping tears away. “You already know I’m gonna say yes. You don’t need to convince me. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Chris, and a million things I didn’t know I wanted, too.”  
  
Chris nods, with a shaky inhale. He sits, shifting his weight from his knee to his ass, crossing his legs in front of him and nodding at his lap, indicating for Sebastian to climb into it. Sebastian does, draping his arms over Chris’s shoulders and kissing him.  
  
“I wrote it all down,” Chris says, curling his big hands around Sebastian’s waist and brushing his nose in soft bumps against Sebastian’s. “I’ll show you, later. I wrote a lotta nice things, you deserve to hear them. Even if I can’t say them right now without bursting into tears.”  
  
“I love you,” Sebastian responds, into Chris’s lips.  
  
“Marry me?” Chris asks.  
  
Sebastian nods, utters, “yes,” and captures Chris’s lips in a deeper kiss. His heart is full and their lips move fervently together, communicating so many things between them with no need for words.  
  
Chris’s arms slide all the way around him, one squeezing tight around his waist and the other hand gathering in a handful of Sebastian’s shirt. Sebastian kisses him too enthusiastically and accidentally knocks them over, tipping Chris backwards until he lands on the ground and Sebastian lands on top of him, both giggling. Dodger trots over, deciding it’s playtime, and jumps on top of them both. Chris laughs, loud and free and joyful, and Sebastian pulls Dodger into their cuddle and laughs with him.  
  
“We should get married in the winter,” Chris says, with his chin resting on top of Sebastian’s head. “In the yard behind our house. In the snow, with the trees all laden and Christmassy. Anthony could officiate. He’d be good at that.”  
  
“Do I get a say in this?” Sebastian asks, tickling Chris’s side. “Mr. Control Freak?”  
  
“You’re about to take me in sickness and health,” Chris points out. “Maybe that’s my sickness, and you have to love me through it.”  
  
“I promise to love you through it,” Sebastian agrees. With his head tucked under Chris’s chin, and Chris’s big arms around him, he’s never been happier than he is at this moment. “And that sounds perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me [on tumblr](http://paper-storm.tumblr.com/) [or twitter](https://twitter.com/turningthedials) if you want!


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